As the era of newsprint journalism begins its sad stumble into the sunset, I thought it only fitting to offer the world the following examples of my own early journalistic ambition, to be left electronically, like bruised flowers, on the plot marked for the grave of the modern newspaper.
The following gallery is culled from the six issues of The Daily Pit (re-titled The Weekly Pit with the sixth issue) that constituted the total run of the newspaper parody I wrote and drew from Dec. 26, 1977 to Jan. 22, 1978, using photos clipped from actual papers, along with a purely adolescent imagination, one steeped heavily in the satirical influence of Mad Magazine and Wacky Packages.
This would predate a subsequent stint as cub reporter for my high school paper, a heady first year with the fourth estate, one that would see me destroy a German exchange student’s social life by encouraging her to let me print her description of most Americans as “fat”, a riveting bit of journalistic fire that would win me the Rookie Reporter of the Year award, an honor bestowed upon me in a school assembly wherein the announcement of my winning was blessed with a hearty round of “Porn King! Porn King!” by the rabble I shared an art class with, where I dispensed pornographic cartoons like a smut-fueled vending machine (more on this in a later post, not to worry).
For now, please enjoy the journalistic buffoonery of a thirteen year-old living in those heady days of Jimmy Carter, Evel Knievel, Burt Reynolds, and Star Wars. For a complete slideshow view of each of the six, five-page issues, click here.
